HIV tests are more positive than that guy
She said her name was "party"
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize