In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Randomize
