i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
