to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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