home. puking in laundry basket.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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