Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Actions speak louder than pants.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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