ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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