So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
