I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
