Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
You are a genius and a whore.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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