i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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