i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
