so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
