You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
tell me about the fingering
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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