But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
