I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
