the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
