quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
