so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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