I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
