Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
