..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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