tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Damn victory sex feels great
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
