check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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