ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
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