Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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