I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Randomize
