The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize