i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
