Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
