I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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