I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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