No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
