Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
