i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
