It's like God shit irony all over that family
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Randomize
