so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
