I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i wish my penis had a tongue
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
