Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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