I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
