Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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