Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I look better un-naked...
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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