You work out of a Hotel?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
