Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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