would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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