Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
it's like heaven, but drunker
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
