u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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