In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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