you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
