I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
