Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
