508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize