It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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