it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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