You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
