About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I could fuck to npr.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
