let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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