How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
