She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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