I wanna bring you to show and tell
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
