Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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