i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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