Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
