i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
