Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize