There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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